I had the weirdest dream this morning. It was sooo vivid, and just unlike anything I've had before. So the next few paragraphs are going to be a rush to get it down, because I don't want to forget it.
I dreamed I was me, but younger, and not really me. It was like I sort of had my consciousness, but I was someone else too. I dreamed I flew to London, and I have no idea why I went, but I remember landing and saying, "I'm in London!" And I thought I should take a couple quick pics for the blog, which I did.
Now, it gets weird. I go to this hotel, I guess, but it's very large, and sort of dark inside. And it's very old-fashioned, very Victorian, with velvet furniture. It reminded me just a little of an actual place in London I've actually been to, but it definitely wasn't the same place.
I asked the lady at the desk if they had a room available. She said yes, and that they might even have one with air conditioning. I said I would like to see that one. She took me back to this room, and I could see right away, it wasn't like a real room. The walls didn't go all the way up to the ceiling, and I wondered how this room could actually be "air conditioned." It had a single bed, a wooden rocking chair, a wooden dresser, and pretty much nothing else. I remember thinking I didn't want that room because there wasn't a TV. There was a community bathroom with a tin tub, and I was pretty sure I didn't want that.
But before she showed me that room, I recognized the hotel as someplace I had stayed before. I pointed to a room with a closed door to my right. "I've stayed here! I've stayed in that room!"
The lady gave this odd smile, and said, "The Aaron Burr Room?"
And I said, "Yes, I guess so. I stayed in that room."
And she gave that odd smile again. I said, "What? Is that room haunted?"
She didn't answer. Just smiled.
It was then that I became less me, and more this other girl. "I" discovered I had a unique talent. I could "blink" into the dimension of ghosts. That's the only way to describe it. It was like I could sorta hold my breath and I don't even know the word...I want to say "hunker down" with my mind, but that doesn't sound right. The right word might be "push," but that doesn't really describe what you had to do to see the other side.
When you did this, you would physically disappear in the "real" world and appear in the ghost world. The first time I did this was in the big lobby of this hotel.
I saw that it was crawling with ghosts. Just everywhere. It reminded me of a busy train station, and that was an odd thought, because I've never been to a real train station like Grand Central. Now that I'm awake, I want to say it was like an airport.
When I "blinked" back to the real world, a lady had seen me disappear and she ran up to me and grabbed my arm. She said, "Can you ask for..." and she said a name, but I don't remember the name. So I blinked and called out this name. A young woman, about 18 or 20 years old replied, and I swear I'm getting chills writing this. Anyway, this girl approached me, and told me to tell her mom she was at peace.
I blinked back and the mom was waiting expectantly. "She's here," I said, "and she's okay. She's happy."
The woman burst into tears, and I relayed a couple messages back and forth. And the mom was able to finally have some peace, too.
Once I helped that lady, a couple other people wanted me to ask for people on the other side. I was able to find a couple, and a couple weren't there.
Then, it was like I was even less of the real me, and more like someone else, the younger me but not me. And suddenly, my little brother and my mother was there. The little brother reminded me of Joe, but wasn't Joe. But my mother didn't remind me of my mom, but was someone else altogether. She was much older than my own mother would have been when I was twenty. And she was really kind, and just radiated goodness.
And we were in that hotel in London to look for my little sister (who reminded me of Callie, but wasn't Callie), and my father. The weirdest thing about this whole dream was my father, who also was nothing like my father in waking life. I'll describe him in a minute.
So, I blink into the ghost world, and I start calling out my sister's and dad's name. They weren't in that area of the hotel, so we start walking around. I would blink in other areas of the hotel to look, and I would try to do it without any real people noticing.
In another part of the hotel, in an area where the dead side was considerably less crowded, I found my little and sister and dad together.
Now, my dad in the dream is really strange, and makes me wonder how much of this was actually a "dream." I don't know what else it could be, but it was just soooooo bizarre and strange and it was really like this person wasn't me at all.
The dad was a tall handsome black man, but me and my siblings and mom were definitely white. He was wearing a blue button down shirt, and he radiated kindness. I rushed into the arms of my little sister and dad, who apparently had died in this hotel. I want to say in a fire, although they didn't appear burned. They appeared healthy and beautiful.
I told them to wait just a second, and I blinked back and told my mom, who burst into tears. And we stayed at that hotel for awhile, and we were like a family again. I think I taught my mom and brother how to do what I could, so we could all be together.
And they said they stayed at the hotel in the hopes that we would one day come back and look for them. And it was really a happy time.
But one day, while I was walking around in the lobby blinking in and out to learn the stories of the people who died there, I heard a commotion, and a woman was rushed into this medical bay type area, and I couldn't see her face, but I knew in my heart it was my mother. I also knew my mother was no longer in that body, but I watched as the doctor took her pulse, and I could actually feel my mother's pulse slowing until it stopped. I turned around, and my mother was standing behind me. She was smiling and said simply, "Heart attack."
So, now just me and my little brother were alive, but we could blink back and forth. At one point, the five of us were sitting on the couch and my brother and I had blinked into their dimension, and I remember saying how strange it was. My mom said, "All I know is that this is the first time in what seems like forever that we're all together again, and I really like this feeling."
Then we decided to go to Florida, and as we're walking to the airport, we go through a couple touristy areas, and they were places we had visited as a family in the past. There was a lot of reminiscing. At one tourist area, I accidentally blinked to the other side as a girl in a red tourist attraction shirt watched. I realized what I had done, and looked at her, and realized she could still see me, but that she knew something was different, because she was frozen in shock and amazement. But her eyes followed me, so I knew she could see me. I said, "You can see me?"
She nodded. So, I realized other people had the talent, but had not yet discovered how to use it.
At the airport, I needed to find a flight to Daytona with five empty seats, because in the dream, when these ghosts sat down, they took up space. So, they couldn't just float around and sit on people's laps. It was like they were physically real, just in another dimension of the same world. So, I found a pretty empty flight, and bought two tickets for me and my little brother.
We all got on the plane, and found five seats together near the front of the plane. As the plane was taking off, I woke up.
I looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was 5:00 am. I usually wake up at 4:00 or 4:30, but this dream kept me out for an hour longer.
I don't know, but it was a strange feeling waking up and remembering this dream. I know there's a lot we don't understand about dreaming and our subconscious mind, but I wonder why my mind came up with that weird story? Part of it just seemed so...historical. And not being able to remember the names of the dead people is weird. I remember one name had double L's and one started with a "Z."
And the feeling when I called out a name and someone answered was really strange, too.
Maybe my mind was just acting up because all I had time to eat yesterday was toast. It was a crazy busy day.
Anyway, maybe I can write a book about it that'll get made into a movie. Lol.
In other news, yesterday was a crazy busy day. Apparently, just about everyone has the flu and strep throat. One of my coworkers called in sick for the second day in a row, and Tuesday's are usually one of the busiest days, so we were stretched thin. I did a little of her job, my job, and we also had a very angry patient that had yelled at two receptionists, two nurses, and a PA. Since he's scheduled for a surgery next week, the nurse he was currently yelling at came and got me so he could yell at someone else. I asked why he was angry, and she said, "I don't know, but he's angry as a hornet. You might want to take him into your office so other patient's don't hear him." I asked what he was yelling about, and again she said "I don't know. He's just mad. Mad that he had to wait, mad because Bob said something to upset him, I don't know."
So I gathered myself and went out to get yelled at.
But I didn't get yelled at. I took the elderly gentleman back to my office, let him sit down, and I sat down next to him. I concentrated on looking him in the eye. And I just listened to him. It turned out he wasn't really mad at us. He was upset that he had to wait, and upset at the appointment scheduler because the PA told him he'd wanted to see him in a week, but she told him we didn't have anything for three weeks. But his main problem was his insurance, which in his case, is a commercial HMO that has to go through his primary care physician for every visit. I listened to him vent for about twenty minutes, and he was calm and nice.
I sympathized with him, offered him some suggestions, and gave him my card with my extension on it. I told him if he ever needed an appointment, to call me, and I would get him in right away. Before he left, he gave me a hug, which left the staff slack jawed, because they'd decided he was just an angry old grouch. He wasn't--he just needed someone to stop long enough to
listen.
Anyway, that made me feel good.
Then I had to go to my doctor appointment about my voice. The doctor said that because my thyroid was so large and difficult to remove, it was expected that my vocal cords would be battered a little, and that it might take some extra time, but my voice should eventually come back. That made me happy, and I went back to work until 6:00, then came home, took a really long bath, then crashed.
Well, this post took a lot longer than I thought, so I've gotta go...looking forward to a somewhat easy day at work, and hope to be home before 3:30! :)
