On Being More Like Me, Less Like You

Posted by Mindy at 9:52 AM Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Update: Tomorrow, the truth starts coming. Stay tuned. 

All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.
Watch video for tone and full effect.
Here's some red letters for ya:




I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
And every second I waste is more than I can take!
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you are just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be ----- Numb, Linkin Park

And yeah...I'm no victim. Not by a long shot.


23 comments:

  1. Anonymous said...:
    January 30, 2018 at 5:19 PM

    Who specifically is this directed to?
    Billie

  1. Anonymous said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 12:38 AM

    Update:

    The TRUTH has been told for quite a while....

    https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/chase/

  1. Anonymous said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 1:26 AM

    Why don't you leave her the hell alone until you know all the facts? Don't base what you think you 'know' on rumors of the masses. You would absolutely SUCK as a good lawyer. I hope you never get called for jury duty. You'd probably see that person as guilty before hearing their lawyer say a single word.

  1. Anonymous said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 6:06 AM

    https://www.almanac.com/content/does-full-moon-make-people-crazy

  1. Anonymous said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 10:37 AM

    Joke of the day. Ricky Maverick recruiting top searchers and for a closed forum. Says he can be trusted. Problem is two days prior he went on a fit of rage giving private email information and IPs from his last forum attempt.
    Anyone smart enough to be classified as a top searcher certainly is smart enough not to trust Ricky.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 12:40 PM


    Mindy,

    I don't know you, but I've seen your posts on various forums. You seem to be very bright when it comes to the puzzle of the chase, and very angry when it comes to Forrest and many others. From what you've already shared it seems your anger is warranted beyond details and reasons that I need to know. But I'd share that I believe at the heart of mad is always sad. For your sadness, I feel deep compassion.

    I grow very concerned when I see someone lashing out in anger (justified or not is not mine to judge), and who is considering perpetuating an act that is wreckess in that many innocent people will be hurt. Airing all this is perceived (right or wrong) as an act based in hatred in an effort to even a perceived score, or as misguided thinking that somehow your pain and the pain of the other women will be removed and understanding of you and your character will be restored by perpetuating a very painful and, frankly, judgemental campaign. I guarantee your goal, no matter what it really is, will be perceived as you trying to get others to judge you as good and Forrest as bad. That isn't going to happen as human nature clearly demonstrates the judgement will be of you. Right or wrong - again, not mine to judge. I'm a woman, and woman are very caddy! I don't have many women friends because of that...the caddiness.

    I don't know you, Forrest, or any of these women. But I know you are all adults. You all (including Forrest) seem to have had very poor judgement based upon what you've shared. You've said no crime was committed, but you have issue with Forrest's character. But Mindy, a public character assassination will bring such outrage to you, right or wrong. If your true motive is to make other women aware, you have already made all women aware by your many, many, many posts of your concerns regarding Forrest - so that can't be your goal by launching this campaign. Your actions will be perceived as a vendetta no matter how right you are and how wrong Forrest may have been.

    I see your sadness and understand it. You've warned women and you have an opportunity to respond in a loving manner that would go a long way in having people back away from their anger. I urge you to acknowledge your role in what happened, apologize for publically airing very private communications, if you feel the need to do it again then go ahead and caution women from personal contact with Forrest, in a heartfelt request ask people to stop harassing you and promise you will do the same, and then walk the talk.... issue a plea for all to act in ways of love and kindness toward each other. Then Mindy, move on to enjoy your life.

    You have so much to give. Give it with grace Mindy. What you are planning to air publically is like randomly shooting into a crowd and many devastated by your gunfire will be innocent bystanders, like Peggy, Forrest's kids, and his grandkids. They don't deserve this, from you or Forrest. That is what people won't be willing to forgive. Your conscious actions to intentionally bring pain to his family.

    Please walk away from this Mindy. No good can come from it. You've exposed Forrest's interactions with various women searchers - people will judge, believe or disbelieve and none if that is in your control. You remind me of my son who is on the spectrum too. I feel a fondness for you because of that and a need to try to help you as a result. Please stop burning down yourself and others - use all these experiences to build yourself up! It's contagious!

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 3:19 PM

    When they go low, you go high. Don't look back Mindy, look forward. The only power others have is power you give them. Let it be and walk away.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 3:27 PM

    Your words are very wise. I will consider them. I AM sad, but not because I feel slighted by F. I feel sad because people who I thought had a lot of integrity turned out to not have any.

    I’m angry because I believe many people were hurt by F’s actions and that he is smug about it. He once told a searcher that he could make people believe anything, or something like that. I thought people would appreciate knowing they’ve been duped. But I guess not?

    I realize that no matter what I prove or what I say will “make” people see the truth. Even if F came right out and told the truth, there would be plenty of followers who would refuse to believe it or claim I coerced it out of him.

    I agree that I have made my point. I agree that I’ve tried to do the right thing. So I will consider your advice and I appreciate your non-threatening input.

    I don’t “hate” Forrest. I really don’t “hate” anyone. Even the people that have said the most awful lies, I would forgive if they asked. Right, Sean (and others)?

    Does Forrest deserve a free pass? No, I don’t think so. But maybe that’s what mercy is for. But even if I decide to be merciful, you can bet I’ll still be crucified.

    And it does sadden me that if I release my evidence, many will be hurt, including kids and grandkids. I don’t want anyone’s kids to endure what mine have—the betrayal of a family member.

    So I’ll think very hard on all this.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 3:37 PM

    My best advice I hope you consider is to look in the mirror and be someone you are proud to see. When they go low, you go high. Don't post anything at all except for your interpretation of poem and solving it. Defuse others by defusing yourself. I asked the same if folks on Harry's. I think it is time for healing, don't you? Just no more personal topic posts and you will be taking the high road. Be well and peace to you.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 3:58 PM

    Don't respond to any thing unless it is about the chase no matter how hard it may be. Call a ceasefire with the only request that all personal conversation cease immediately. Keep everything to poem, 3 books, solve ideas. You can do this Mindy.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 4:15 PM

    I will think about it. You know as well as I do that the libelers, defamers and character assassins won’t stop.

    The decision might be easier if Harry takes down every instance of possible libel.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 4:18 PM

    Especially the ones about me “screaming” at my dying mother, and just about every statement Jamie Jones has made. Also the libel about James and the 14 year old. And DG’s claims that I cut and pasted.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 4:33 PM

    Sombody at Harry's just asked what you'd like in order for a ceasefire (and yes there were some provocations you should ignore). Go respond in an honest manner. Say you want a 100% ceasefire. Agree you will scrub chase chat, your blog, website of any and all personal posts unrelated to chase - and ask for the same courtesy in return. Promise you will refrain from personal posts (and then honor that promise no matter what others may do or say). Ask that others refrain from all personal posts. Ask for healing to all those you've hurt, and ask all those you feel hurt by to give you healing. Hold you head high, walk away with grace, and only talk of chase poem solutions from now forward. Ask for what you want and need, do not talk of past anymore on public forum. That's my counsel. I believe you can be the positive change and others will respond in kind. Here if I can help.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 4:40 PM

    The problem with that is if I erase all mention of F’s past behavior, what good does that do to new people coming into the chase. My main goal was for people to be aware. Erasing everything is like brushing the whole issue under the rug.

    That is the equivalent of complicity.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 4:45 PM

    I am also purposely staying away from Harry’s. The libel is too infuriating right now.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 4:50 PM

    I don't see it as brushing anything under the rug. Any woman in the chase not has heard your warning. Your need to warn is accomplished. It really isn't your place to taint newcomers experience in the chase now that fenn has stepped away from the chase. He is done. Nothing to warn in future. Let past be done for your happiness. Others will not stop coming at you until you walk away. Doesn't mean they are right and you are wrong. Just means you spoke your truth, you are done sharing personal information about you and others, and you are going the high road from here on out.

    Mindy I worry an employer might see all this and they aren't going to care who is right or wrong. They would see your involvement as something the want nothing to do with. My company had strict social media policy and I'd be let go if I were engaging in this negativity. Makes their image look bad. Just walk away. Your mission is complete. Peace Mindy.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 5:05 PM

    There are a few issues I have with your last comment.

    1. I don’t know that F is done with the chase. Has he specifically told you this? You said in your first comment that you don’t know him. So, how can you know he’s done? Let him tell me himself and also try to mitigate the damage he’s caused me by taking some responsibility. And no, I don’t want money. Or fame. Or hints. I’m done taking the fall for him.

    2. I believe I’ve been taking the high road for this whole thing. I stood up against the abuse of power. I took stand against a mountain of hate to declare what he’s done is not okay. And defending myself against libel with proof of the truth is perfectly justified.

    3. I’m already employed. I’ve already spoken to the director in order to give him full disclosure. He said as long as I do my job he couldn’t care less about what’s said on the Internet. He doesn’t even have a social media account.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 5:28 PM

    I wish you nothing but joy and peace. You are right, I don't know Forrest is done with chase, but it is my sincere belief.

    Please recognize that your need to be right is only important to you. It comes at a great cost to you, and it is your choice to make while recognizing that you being right is not going to change others. I only offer my limited experience and hope for kindness vs. all this drama and hate that you and other bloggers spew so freely.

    I hope minimally you will let go of the need to (appropriate analogy) take a semiautomatic gun and start shooting randomly into the crowd when you know the only casualties will be you and Forrest's family.

    Find peace in your heart Mindy. The world is a cold and cruel place, which us how we recognize warmth and kindness when we encounter it. Be in gratitude always. Guce not an ounce to the negative.

    Best wishes to you.

    Peace out.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 5:42 PM

    It’s not about being right. It’s about doing the right thing. That’s whats important to me, and if doing the right thing is only important to me, that’s sad, but I have to be okay with it.

    When I look in the mirror, I see a woman, who despite her imperfections, had the courage to stand for her convictions and not be silent when witnessing blatant abuse of power.

    You seem to think that I’m the one who has the power to stop all the hate, and to make everything right. That’s not true. Libel needs to be corrected. And needs to stop. Forrest needs to quit dividing searchers and to quit coercing them from doing his dirty work.

    You talk like I’m the one to blame for any casualties. Don’t you realize that Forrest pulled that semi-automatic out and started firing into the crowd a long time ago? And hasn’t stopped?

    I said I would consider your words. But that’s all I can promise. At this point, I’m not going to erase history, thereby validating a false legacy. I’m not going to delete everything and pretend that damage hasn’t been done to many women, and to myself by his cult following that defames and libels me constantly.

    I have not libeled anyone. So I propose this. If everyone wants peace and healing, let them who libeled me delete the vicious lies they’ve posted. If they truly want peace and healing, they’ll admit they’ve made unjust accusations and be big enough to “take the high road” by deleting the libelous comments about me.

    When I see that, my decision might be a little easier.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 5:53 PM

    I do appreciate your honesty and your words.

  1. Unknown said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 5:54 PM

    Peace Mindy. I wish you well and I mean that very sincerely. I hope all of you lay down your arms.

  1. Mindy said...:
    January 31, 2018 at 6:02 PM

    A good soldier knows they don’t lay down their arms if there’s a chance they’ll be shot to pieces.
    Peace. I would like it.

  1. James said...:
    February 1, 2018 at 7:59 AM

    Erin, you say “Don't post anything at all except for your interpretation of poem and solving it.“.

    So tell us here your interpretation of the poem and a few things about solving it...

    Because if you can’t do that here then you’re not taking your own advice. If you think others should just talk about the poem and how to solve it then you should be the one to set that example, right? It would also show that you’re not Forrest. Please no lame excuses why you can’t...

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