Ima bee busy...

Lots of business and busy-ness goin on round here. Getting ready for a trip to Santa Barbara, CA, to watch my beautiful daughter graduate high school. Then, it’s time to by Joe a boatload of things he will need for his summer in New Zealand. And have to get ready for Callie’s visit at our house for the whole summer too. I want to plan a special trip with her to wherever she wants to go.
Then there’s Aidan’s busy-ness. Getting her personal property, her car out of impound, paying the lawyer, putting money into Aidan’s account so she can have some comfort food, and planning and preparing for her hearing coming up in the next week or so.
Then there’s other really good business that I don’t want anyone to know about yet. You’ll see when it’s time. :)
James bought a couple carbon fiber additions to our car. They look pretty cool.

My Bucket List

So, I was in Joe's computer room yesterday helping him fix a computer issue, and while I was waiting for a reboot, I glanced over at his crowded bookshelf and noticed the Atlas Obscura. I'd bought it for Christmas a year or so ago, and I'd wanted to read it but never got around to it.

So, I plucked it from the shelf and started reading. It wasn't long before I realized my already way too long "bucket list" was about to get much longer.

I'm sure most of you already know that going to my ancestral homelands----Scotland, Norway, Denmark, Greenland, and Iceland-- are number one on my bucket list. They deserve their own blog post about all the sights I want to see and experience there, so I'll save those for another day.

Here are some cool things from the first few chapters of The Atlas Obscura I'm adding to my bucket list:

1. Tour Hereford Cathedral in England and see the Mappa Mundi. The Mappa Mundi is the oldest known medieval map in existence. It is probably one of the most wonderful maps ever. Wikipedia notes:

"It depicts 420 towns, 15 Biblical events, 33 animals and plants, 32 people, and five scenes from classical mythology.

Jerusalem is drawn at the centre of the circle, east is on top, showing the Garden of Eden in a circle at the edge of the world (1). Great Britain is drawn at the northwestern border (bottom left, 22 & 23). Curiously, the labels for Africa and Europe are reversed, with Europe scribed in red and gold as 'Africa', and vice versa."

2. The Lost Gardens of Heligan in Cornwall, England. This place has an OMG Factor of 1000 out of 1000. It is supremely beautiful, sprinkled with mysterious elements of fantasy and boasting a secret but romantic past. At the beginning of WWI, many of the garden's workers were deployed to the battlefield. Many didn't survive, and the gardens fell into decay...and were forgotten...until a hurricane devastated the area in 1990. The website for Heligan Gardens gives this story of how the gardens were rediscovered:

"After decades of neglect, the devastating hurricane of 1990 should have consigned the now lost gardens to a footnote in history.

Instead, events conspired to bring us here and the romance of their decay took a hold on our imaginations. Our discovery of a tiny room, buried under fallen masonry in the corner of one of the walled gardens, was to unlock the secret of their demise. A motto etched into the limestone walls in barely legible pencil still reads “Don’t come here to sleep or slumber”, with the names of those who worked there signed under the date – August 1914. We were fired by a magnificent obsession to bring these once glorious gardens back to life in every sense and to tell, for the first time, not tales of lords and ladies but of those “ordinary” people who had made these gardens great, before departing for the Great War."

I don't know if I've ever beheld such a marvelous "secret" garden. It's so enchanting that even the stodgy ole Duke of Cornwall (Prince Charles of Wales) found himself delighted (trust me--that's his delighted face) to walk across the rope bridge:

But take in a deep breath before you look at these next pics...because they are breathtaking:

I just HAVE to go there one day!

3. Skellig Michael is the larger of the two Skellig islands located off the peninsula near County Derry, Ireland. The monastery flourished between the 6th and 8th centuries, and the monks there weren't feeble old men. Harsh weather and climbing endless flights of stairs made these men strong, and as a result, they held off a Viking attack in 823. What's cool about many places in England is that you can roam among ruins, touch anything you want, without gates or chains to keep you two hundred feet away. I remember wandering around the ruins of Scarborough Castle, alone, and the experience was one I'll never forget.

4. The Crypts at Christ Church-- Christ Church in Dublin was one of the first Viking Churches to be built in Ireland. The crypts below look amazing to wander through. 

6. The Giant's Causeway in Northern Ireland-- I HAVE to walk among these hexagonal basalt formations....because they're depicted in Dragon Age Inquisition.

The legend goes:

"According to legend, the columns are the remains of a causeway built by a giant. The story goes that the Irish giant Fionn mac Cumhaill (Finn MacCool), from the Fenian Cycle of Gaelic mythology, was challenged to a fight by the Scottish giant Benandonner. Fionn accepted the challenge and built the causeway across the North Channel so that the two giants could meet. In one version of the story, Fionn defeats Benandonner.^[9] In another, Fionn hides from Benandonner when he realises that his foe is much bigger than he is. Fionn's wife, Oonagh, disguises Fionn as a baby and tucks him in a cradle. When Benandonner sees the size of the 'baby', he reckons that its father, Fionn, must be a giant among giants. He flees back to Scotland in fright, destroying the causeway behind him so that Fionn would be unable to chase him down.^[10] Across the sea, there are identical basalt columns (a part of the same ancient lava flow) at Fingal's Cave on the Scottish isle of Staffa, and it is possible that the story was influenced by this."

Here's part of the actual causeway. 

Here's part in DA:

7. Eisbachwelle-- What surfer wouldn't want to surf on this stationary wave for their longest ride ever? This one is in Germany, and despite the cold, I'm up for it!

8. Capri's Blue Grotto---I'd like to rent a private boat to take us there during off hours...the place is my kind of blue...

And Capri doesn't look too shabby either!

Anyway, I just thought I'd share some obscure but interesting places I've found  in the first few pages of the book. I'll post more as I find more. And I'll list the cool bucket list things I want to do in my ancestral lands. 

Right now, I'm planning my trip to CA to see Callie graduate!

On Setbacks in Life

We all suffer setbacks at one time or another. My daughter's recent arrest was a setback, but not disastrous. I can tell by the way she speaks to me on the phone that she was not using at the time of her arrest, because believe me, the mother of an addict can tell when their child has relapsed. I thank God every day that she hasn't relapsed and I pray to God every day that she doesn't, because that WOULD be a much bigger setback than what she's dealing with now. Working through problems with a using addict is nearly impossible, but working through setbacks with someone who is determined to make right choices in the future is workable.

I firmly and whole-heartedly believe my daughter will come through this stronger, and more determined to stay on the right track. She has a good attitude, owns her mistakes and is ready to move forward. One thing I'm trying to teach her is that she doesn't need to feel shame for falling to addiction. It can happen to the strongest people. She can make it through and she can have a successful life. The people who SHOULD feel shame are the ones who are trying to constantly post her mugshot in an effort to shame me through shaming her. It won't work. We are unconquerable.

So, we pick ourselves up and keep marching on. What was it that Sean recently said about Edison and failure? I think I used that quote in a blog post in the past as well. Funny how the haters seemed to love that quote when Sean said it while incorrectly assuming my "failures" were a different animal. Bravo, Sean, you proved the hate site's hypocrisy!

And really, failures? I made decent money writing and editing. I didn't stop writing and editing because I failed at it--I stopped because I didn't like writing or editing that kind of thing--and I stopped when I was starting to make some good money. Being a multi-published author, no matter what genre, is EXTREMELY difficult to do, unless you self-publish. All of my novels and articles were paid gigs. I still receive royalty checks because the haters want to pay me, I suppose. But I didn't get to be a senior editor for three different top Internet publishing companies by failing at what I do. And why have none of the haters looked at the other places I've been published? Like Guideposts, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and The Outlook? Made extremely good money for the latter--$1200 for 800 words that took me about 25 minutes to write--not bad.

It's funny the pictures the imaginations of haters dream up. You know, that I'm some screechy, high maintenance, frantic b---- who's always desperate or screaming like a banshee. Lol. Not so, little bears...I'm the calmest girl around. I am passionate, yes, when I write something that means a lot to me. But on the surface, I'm calm, cheerful, and always ready to laugh or smile. People who actually know me personally see that.

But setbacks are just one step backward. When taking two steps forward, I'm sure to always keep moving that way. When I get knocked down, I ALWAYS get back up again. I NEVER give up, not on my daughter, not on my life, not on anything--I keep marching, I keep looking up, and I keep moving forward. no matter how hard the struggle, no matter how deep the mud, no matter how thick the smoke from fires burning all around. I keep on.

And that, my friends, is what makes me... UNCONQUERABLE.

Woohoo! Friday!

Predictions: Vanity Fair and Esquire coming soon...

Busy Busy But Sittin’ Pretty

I’m working some overtime this week learning the surgery and special procedures part of the job and going back and forth between two offices. It’s very busy, but very fun. And a little hard, at first—wearing a thirty pound lead apron for two and a half hours straight and muscling around a heavy C-arm is not exactly a walk in the park. But it just takes getting used to, and it’ll be a breeze in no time. I really enjoy it, and the spine doc is wonderful—easy going, very jokey, and a teacher—he was great at explaining everything and gauging what I already know, which is a decent amount due to my previous experience. :)

Not much else is going on. Everything is going pretty well. Wheels are rolling-- no stopping, no halting, no regrets, no fear.

Viking Strong. Always.

A Restful Mother's Day

I had a pleasant, relaxing Mother's Day. I talked to both of my girls, and they are both doing well (Aidan is doing as well as can be expected). Joe asked if we could get a meal delivered from Longhorn Steakhouse for Mother's Day, and I said yes, so he ordered and paid with my credit card. Lol. It was pretty good, though, so I'm not complaining.

The other night we went to Joe's orientation at a benefactor's condo, which was more opulent than any condo I've ever seen. The elevator opened right up into his home, he had several original  Marc Chagall drawings and sketches on his walls, and the balcony wrapped entirely around half of the condo, looking out over a beautiful estuary that caught the sunset spectacularly. It was hard to focus on what the Student Diplomacy Corps founder was saying when dolphins were lazily arcing through the water behind him.

And man, the founder looks JUST LIKE Jason Bateman! On the way home, I told Joe, "I was going to ask him how often he gets asked for autographs for being Jason Bateman," and Joe interrupted with, "No way! I wanted to ask him the same thing!"

Anyway, all the paperwork, meetings, physicals, passports, and everything else needed for a month long trip to New Zealand (Aotearoa) is complete, and Joe is super excited, but a little nervous. He's never been away from home so long before. I'm really excited for him...it is a dream trip for a student like Joe. And extraordinary to get a $9000 scholarship to make it happen!

Callie is also making a splash in her high school...she read a poem she wrote about her high school experience. And before someone assumes what the lyrics in the first stanza mean, I'll tell you. Callie was bullied in her first year of high school, blamed by a "friend" for something she didn't do. Anyway, I love the way the crowd goes wild for her.

Aidan is taking some time to write her life experiences. And before you start hating on her, her drug tests came back CLEAN.

Anyway, this weekend, we just lounged around and watched seasons three and four of Vikings, which was pretty good.

This week is full of hectic activity, so I probably won't be able to post much, so be patient. And have a great week. Try being compassionate and kind for once, haters--it might lessen the black pits forming your souls.

NJFL DID NOT GET MY PERMISSION

Update: Looks like NJFL will meet me in court. When did you start your subscription to that newspaper, njfl? And why would you maliciously post that info about my daughter? And your defense that I gave you permission is sad, really sad. I NEVER gave you or anyone else permission to defame me or my family. Any reasonable person (or judge) will see that right away. Any reasonable person would interpret my post to mean information RELATING to a court case. You can’t bully me into stepping back—you’ve done the damage, so you’re on the hook for it.

NJFL, in no way did I give you permission to post anything about my daughter, who has no relation to anything in the chase. What you are trying to pass as “permission,” doesn’t give you permission to post anything about my daughter. You, or someone one aharrys, had ALREADY posted about my daughter BEFORE I made my post, which clearly has NOTHING to do about any newspaper article about my daughter. How can I give “permission” to post about my daughter AFTER you had already posted it? Ridiculous. You’re floundering and desperate.


NJFL DID NOT GET MY PERMISSION TO POST ANYTHING. THAT IS A BLATANT LIE.  I WOULD NEVER GIVE HER PERMISSION TO POST ANYTHING ABOUT MY FAMILY. I DID NOT TELL ANY OF MY CHASE FRIENDS ABOHT MY DAUGHTER. THE ONLY WAY ANYONE WOULD KNOW IS IF THEY SEARCHED MY DAUGHTER’S NAME.

ONE WORD—CYBERSTALKING

ALSO, THE COMMENT ON THE HOTSPOT WAS POSTED AFTER YOU GUYS AT HARRYS POSTED IT, SO YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO DEBUTED THE INFO ONLINE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

I HAVE NOW UNPUBLISHED THE HOTSPOT TEMPORARILY UNTIL LITIGATION IS COMPLETE.

PLEASE NJFL, PLEASE PROVE THAT I GAVE YOU PERMISSION. YOU WERENT LISTED ON MY LAWSUIT BEFORE, BUT THIS IS CLEARLY DEFAMATION. I WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR AKA OUT OF MY LAWSUIT.

NJFL

njfl--

1. I did not give you permission. Since that info is available in the public domain, you don’t really need my "permission," but I’m not sure why you said I did.

2. Why were you reading the Daytona News Journal? Did you Google my daughter’s name which took you to that site? Do you expect me to believe you live in Daytona Beach and just happen to read that online newspaper every day? Because most likely, you don’t live in Daytona, and don’t just happen to read that news journal every day. Which means you googled my daughter’s name and it took you to that page which equals CYBERSTALKING.

3. Harry, if you are adamant about maintaining a site that doesn’t exploit troubled children and their parents, why do you allow such posts to remain up?

4. And how do ANY of you know what I do or don’t do for my daughter? You constantly ASSUME I haven’t and am not doing enough to help her. You CAN’T know that. Just because I still try to maintain a life outside of my daughter’s problems doesn’t mean I don’t do EVERYTHING I possibly can to help her. Once again, you don’t have a clue what’s going on behind the scenes and are too quick to jump to assumptions, which then jump to false statements of fact.

5. Presby is biggest liar, probably ever. I have NEVER spoken I’ll about anybody to Wymustigo, exceptnto clarify what is lie and what is truth. I have never emailed anyone with an attempt to gain info on anyone. That was YOU, Presby/Angie/Tamara. And Presby, you do know that on a site with a history like yours, "in my opinion," is not a valid defense.

6. Presby’s claim that I have done the following is absolutely not true. Stephanie can substantiate that, because approvals go through her, and I don’t know about them. Presby, you’re digging yourself deeper and deeper. Planning on going out with a bang? NMC, you probably heard that from Presby, and I’ve already proved he’s a liar.



A reminder for Sean—YOU were the one who sent ME messages trying to get me to go behind the backs of other searchers with shady tactics and I REFUSED. Remember that?

Not Ashamed

It was a pretty eventful weekend— a hate site who cyberstalks me constantly discovered my 23 year old daughter had been arrested last week and went on to say she was terrible and that I am a terrible mother.

I’m not going to explain everything again, but you can read it here:

http://www.chasechat.com/showthread.php?tid=10069&page=7

For those of you who have never had a child addicted to drugs, please take the time to read this article:

https://www-m.cnn.com/2014/08/26/living/addiction-parents/index.html

My daughter has been clean for about three years or so. However, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t struggle with some fear that she will relapse. Addiction can happen to anyone, but when it happens to your little girl, you would move heaven and earth to save her from the absolute pit of hell that is drug addiction.

Every day I pray for her to have strength to resist the almost horribly powerful temptation to fall back into that life. Addiction to opioids is one of the strongest addictions known, and I’ve witnessed first hand how it can turn a clean cut, innocent little girl into a criminal, or a corpse. And that is my ultimate fear— that I will lose my daughter in the end to the drugs that demonized her early adulthood.

Unwanted flashbacks still sometimes come from a time when I was standing next to her hospital bed after an overdose of a drug cocktail. I remember crying and begging God not to take her away; I remember grasping her hand and wondering if the warmth I felt there was temporary. It is one of the most agonizing moments of a mother's life.

The day my daughter got out of jail a couple years ago, I was there to pick her up. I hugged her ferociously and didn’t want to let her go, because I was afraid. Afraid that now that she was out of the relative safety of jail, she would relapse. I was warned that the statistics weren’t good and that a large percentage of addicts relapse within a year.

A week went by, then a year...she’d found a job, bought her first car, went to NA meetings, went to church and was baptized. I began to breathe a little easier, but always the fear was there.

I talk to my daughter every day. I tell her I love her every day. I try to give her wise counsel. But she is an adult, and I have to let her live her own life.

People say that I could have prevented her recent arrest had I not been spending so much time on the chase. That is not true, in two ways:

1. The chase has NEVER taken priority over my family. It NEVER will.
2. My daughter is an adult. She lives five hours away. I cannot stand watch over her every move. I can and have done everything I can to help steer her on the right path. And I know she will get there. Her life is not ruined. Or over. She is not “hopeless.” I believe she has a bright future.

I am still proud of how far she has come. I love her, and will always love her, and I will never give up on her. I am not ashamed of her, or myself.

We will come through this, and we will be stronger. And I am comforted that because we aren’t ashamed to tell our story, we have already helped those who are struggling with the same addiction.

People can judge, assume, gossip, and hate all they want, but it will NEVER change who I am—a mother who fiercely loves all three of her children and who would gladly sacrifice everything I have—my money, my life, my soul— to ensure they grow up to be happy, healthy, safe, and strong.

Part of me is glad that the haters found out. The cyberstalking is not okay, don't get me wrong...but it served to remind me that I have nothing to be ashamed of, and neither does my daughter. Yes, she obviously made a mistake, but I'm not going to shame her about it. she knows she made a mistake and accepts responsibility. What I am going to do is love her, be there for her, and encourage her to shine like the star I know her to be.

We are unconquerable.