Memory has a Funny Sense of Humor

One of the most prominent symptoms of hyperparathyroidism is forgetfulness. Add that to the human's naturally bad memory, and I'd be surprised to find my way out of a paper bag, if I could fit in one.

I used to have a fantastic memory, almost eidetic. I would remember just about everything I read or saw, or heard. I was a great test taker, and a great trivial pursuit player, and a great Jeopardy player. Except when it came to dates, numbers and ages. I forget those, because really, I don't care how old I was in seventh grade.

That's not the case lately. I forget a lot of things, and now I have to set alarms on my phone to remind me of appointments and other important things, like Saturdays.

However, I know I'm not alone. Studies have shown that in even high stress situations, where your adrenaline should be helping your memory, we don't really remember things as they really were, no matter how sure we are that what we witness was correct.

For example, a classic example most college students learn in Psychology is the experiment of a re-enactment of a crime on the street. A woman is swaggering down the sidewalk, swinging her Louis Vuitton purse around like she's begging a thief to rip it out of her hand. The thief comes running up, snatches the purse, looks around dramatically to see who may have seen him (long enough for the witnesses to get a really good look at him) and takes off. Then,each witness was interviewed about the specifics--what the criminal looked like, what he was wearing, etc.

The evidence proved that each witness noticed different things, and a large percentage of what they remembered was wrong.

Here are some of the funniest police sketches I could find. Some may be the result of a witness's bad memory, but it could also be because the sketch artist was a kindergartner. Or maybe a 6th grader...

Police were led to a nearby beaver dam...

I wonder if she was caught as a result of the sketch. I can't see how...

Maybe the sketch artist forgot to draw the toothpicks that were propping up this guys eyelids. And maybe the thief had some good collagen lip injections since his crime.

Surprisingly, this sketch helped find the suspect. He escaped from a child's nightmare.

Absolutely do not try to find Slenderman.

And then you have a few that are right on, probably a result of abnormally good memory and a good sketch artist:

An example where the sketch artist is really gracious. 

Despite the sketch artist attempting to draw an old Luigi (Mario's Brother), it was close enough to nab the right guy.

Then, there are the famous cases, like the Son of Sam, and DB Cooper. They caught the Son of Sam, but I doubt the sketches helped. They never caught DB Cooper. Maybe because he looked entirely different than his police sketch. I think he probably looked at least a little different. They could have gotten the color of his eyes wrong, or maybe something else...

The Son of Sam sketches...

The real Son of Sam.

DB Cooper? The world may never know.

Memory is a funny thing. There are memories I cherish, and memories I have blocked out. Many of us do the same thing. Some people may have stolen candy from a store and been a little too entrepreneurial as a child for the sake of a few nickels. Some may have blocked out their most painful memories, such as abuse or the death of a loved one.

I wonder if DB Copper is still out there...does he remember his sensational crime with the vividness of a bright painting he can stare at every day? Does he regret what he did? It's hard to say, but it would be interesting to know his story.

But for me, I'm all about forgetting the bad memories and remembering the sweet and good. If I could just remember where I put the car keys, that would be a huge plus.

Here's a fun fact about memory:

• Have you ever wondered why you forget your dreams shortly after you wake up? It's because your long term memory shuts off during sleep. You might have several dreams during the night, they aren’t being recorded into long-term memory.

And here is the historical picture of the day that many of you will want to forget as soon as you see it. I guess if you couldn't afford a car or a horse, you'd be reduced to this:

P.S. I just saw that Fleetwood Mac is coming to the Amway Center. Anyone wanna take me? :)