Now, back to the original post: I watched a documentary about Georgia O'Keefe this morning (starting new job hopefully next week---the practice's HR was out last week), and it was, in many ways, like looking into a mirror. A couple of the things she said struck me so intensely, I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote them down in a scrawl.
"I thought someone could tell me how to paint landscapes, but I never found that person. I had to settle down and try... They could tell me how to paint their landscapes, but they couldn't tell me how to paint mine."
I stared down at the paper at her words that had come alive with such a lightning bolt of epiphany that I felt like I was waking up into what my dreams have been telling me all my life -- express myself the way I am, not the way I want others to see... express my art, whether through poetry or painting or music, with my honest emotions, not a facade of what I think others will "like." All that matters is that I like it, and that I enjoyed doing it. I've always tried to be true to myself this way, but realized that when I painted, I was struggling to try and paint "like everyone else." It wasn't working, because I was trying to be good at something by imitating others, and I sucked.
So I pulled out a few canvases,and just painted emotion. I didn't care if it was good, or symmetrical, or anything...I just thought, and painted my feelings, and the shapes and colors I'm most content with...today. My paintings might still suck, but they make me happy, and that is what's important.
The first one I did, I call "Blue Girl."
Then, I did another that calls itself, "Blue Moon Content:"
You've always been good at being your own person. Glad to see you're discovering the same through your art.