Alphabet of Pain and Hope

Alphabet of Pain (and Hope)

by Aidan 

I’ve been Abused in countless ways, Bullied night and day

Confused about where to go, Discouraged by the pain,

Enveloped by a sadness I Fear won’t go away.

Giving up seems so easy; life is Hard as hell today.

I reach out but they Ignore my cries,

I’m so Jealous of other people’s lives.

I try to smile through the pain but the truth is Killing me inside

I’m Lonelier than I’ve ever been, Mad that I can’t get ahead.

Neglected by some of the ones I love, I need help but I’m Oppressed instead.

My Past won’t seem to let me go, some days I want to Quit trying--

Regrets and Sadness eat me up inside and Trouble always seems to find me.

I feel Ugly, Vulnerable, and Worthless,

Like there’s an X over my name

Yearning to know my purpose, feeling like Zero dollars in the bank.

This is my alphabet of pain, the only song I sing

And when my tears fall, Oh God, they fall like rain.

My alphabet of pain, Lord, change the song I sing,

And when my tears fall, oh God, let them be a healing rain.

All the Abuse is in the past, and the Bullies, they won’t last.

The clouds of Confusion fade away, Discouragement lost along Your path.

I’m Enveloped in Your love, Fear is not the spirit I was given.

Giving up is not an option, victory is my decision.

Life is still Hard sometimes, but I won’t Ignore Your Word,

In John 16:33, You say You conquered the world!

I’m not Jealous of anyone’s “easy life” and I won’t covet any longer,

Now that I see what hasn’t Killed me made me stronger.

And Loneliness has left me now that I commune with the King.

And because vengeance belongs to him, I’m not Mad about a thing!

And when I feel Neglected, and when I feel Oppressed,

I cast my cares upon the Lord and let Him deal with the rest.

My Past He has forgotten because I’ve been forgiven--

Now it’s my duty and my goal to Quit how I was livin’.

I don’t Regret the choices I’ve made because I’m born again,

And all the sadness and the Trouble led me straight to Him!

I’m beautiful, not Ugly, not Vulnerable but Strong,

I used to feel so Worthless but now I have a place I belong.

I’m written in His Book of Life and you can’t X out my name.

I Yearn to worship him with Zero complaint and all my praise!

This was my alphabet of pain, the song I used to sing

And when my tears fell, oh God, they fell like rain.

My alphabet of pain, God changed the song I sing,

And when my tears fell, oh God, You made them a healing rain.

And she sent me a beautiful birthday card:

And she drew a picture of her family who has stood firmly by her side:

Oh God, I love her SO much. Keep her safe and please keep turning the alphabet of pain into an alphabet of hope. 

INVICTUS and: