What the futhark?

Since I didn't write a post yesterday, I've had a whole day to think of a blog post. I researched a lot yesterday, and found some cool things related to abandoned airfields in NM, and the map of the Army Corp of Engineers that lists the locations of their huge "bullseyes" that used to be used for bombing practice. I could write about those things, but I don't wanna.

As usual, I want to talk more about Vikings...or the blue ringed octopus...or deadly Australian animals in general...hmmm, what should I choose?

Well, my title gives it away, of course! Oh, you didn't know that Vikings had their own alphabet, based on Germanic runic script, and that it was called "futhark?" Well, isn't that a fun word? Can you imagine the fun those rascally Vikings had with that word when they clashed with those filthy Englishmen?

Here's my relative Ragnar, as depicted by the History Channel:

Ragnar Sigurdson: Hey, filthy Northumbrian! I would like to futhark your bonny wife!
All the other Vikings snicker like a whole bunch of Beavis' and Buttheads ("He said, "futhark, hee hee hee.")

King Aelle: What?! How dare thee! Take it back, or I'll throw thee into that snake pit over yonder!

Ragnar: No, really...I want to futhark your wife. You know, teach her things.
All the Vikings make crude noises. King Aelle's wife starts to look very intrigued with the tall blonde Scandinavian joker.

King Aelle: Stop it! Stop it right now, you...you heathen scoundrel!

Ragnar: What? You stupid dumba$$...I just want to teach your wife the ABC's!

King Aelle: (still preceiving he's the butt of a dirty joke) KILL THEM ALL!
King Aelle's army roars forward, and the Vikings switch into berserker mode, and kill so many of them that the King is forced to retreat to home, where he cries into his momma's lap.

This is King Aelle, from The Vikings on the History Channel. He looks like a momma's boy.

Anyway, the futhark was a whole bunch of Runes that comprised the Viking alphabet. I like runes. Did you know we get a lot of words from the Vikings? Like the word Viking itself. It comes from the word vikingr from the verb root fara i viking, which means, " to go on an expedition." Or as the Vikings might say, "Let's go raid, trade, and steal!"

The word window is also a Viking word. Pretty interesting in regard to the chase, isn't it? Let's see, if Fenn's roots trace back to Scandinavia (and they do), we have Fennland and window, so far. It's so coincidental it's got to be confirmation bias. LOL.

But window is still a very interesting word. It comes from the word vindauga, which literally translates to "wind-eye." Now isn't that interesting?

Here's a common window, in case you needed a reference:

Oh, look! More chase related words! The word scant is Viking, which meant short, or lacking. I'm thinking it means short, as related to the chase. Also, the word foot. More coincidence? (Yes.)

And weak! Weak is a Viking word!

Two more Viking words that appear in the poem are "give" and "take."

Creek came from the Vikings, but it didn't mean what we believe it means. To the Vikings, it meant "corner" or "nook." I'm starting to think that's why you might not need a paddle. :)

When I Googled "corner nook," I got this picture of a girl in a creek...

Now, let's take a little time to talk about the word, peace. We didn't get the word peace from the Vikings, because apparently, there was no such thing, but maybe we did get the peace symbol from a Viking Rune, the Algiz (eolh, elhaz) rune, the rune associated with life, but inverted, becomes the Yr rune, and connotes death.

The Elder Futhark portrayed this rune like the one on the right. The Younger Futhark portrays the rune like our peace sign on the left, minus the circle. Could this represent old and new?

So, this special rune, the eolh (also Algiz or Elhaz) rune, means "elk," and was usually used in combination with seog, or sedge. There is some controversy surrounding this rune. Some scholars believe it represented phonetic z, and others maintain it represents phonetic x. Others believe the earliest form of the rune represented the hw sound and was called hweol, or wheel. There were also later variants of this rune. One was a superimposition of the Elder (Old) and Younger (New) Futhark, resulting in an asterisk shape. It can be found on this runic love charm, and the "binding" of elder and younger Futhark runes like this appears to be somewhat common. This is the Charmay Fibula...can you find the bindrune?

Here is the Elder Futhark:

If it does represent x, could it be that the entire word "peace," is the missing x in the poem?

Or could "go in peace" mean something completely different, as suggested above? If the inverted rune for life is our modern day peace sign, then "go in peace" may mean "go in death." Or it could represent that particular rune, meaning "go in elk-sedge," or "go in x." Or maybe "go in wheel?"

Another interesting thing worth mentioning is that while the rune in the Elder Futhark meant "elk" (or elk-sedge), the rune in the Younger Furthark meant "yew."

This yew tree is 1,000 years old:

One of the earliest poems this rune appears in is an Anglo Saxon rune poem. One stanza reads:

"The Elk-sedge usually lives in the fen,
growing in the water. It wounds severely,
staining with blood any man
who makes a grab at it."

For those of you who don't know, elk sedge is a type of grass that looks like this:

And here is where it can be found:

What the futhark?! Did I just eliminate my state?

And look, elk-sedge is used to make fly lures:

Isn't that totally interesting and coincidental? I think this is going to have to be a two-parter, because it's just too good...and I have more info to impart...

Poem on the Fly

A single word keeps coming into my mind, and I thought I would try and make a poem with it this morning.

So, here goes:


A difficult life, surrounded by fear,
She held it in for four long years,
Never let that man see a single tear,
Knew when and how to switch the gears...

Unconquerable.

Ashamed and feeling totally alone,
She couldn't find solace in the place called home,
She strayed from faith, began to roam,
Found peace in a place she didn't belong.

She began to find it hard to believe
In a God who didn't notice she grieved,
A happy childhood tossed in the seas,
Lost like a kite, tangled in trees.

The weight of her secret smothered her soul,
Shredded innocence will take such a toll,
Drugs and crime, a self medicating role,
And so she lied, cheated and stole.

But then...

God stepped in, plucked her heart,
Willed to grant her a fresh new start.
The way home was hard, every single part,
But she was willing, and she was smart.

Unconquerable.

Now she's back, my girl, my sun,
No longer does she feel the need to run,
The past is past, what's done is done,
Her smile is bright, and set to stun...

Unconquerable.

Her story is powerful, and she wants to tell,
Every kid still suffering in that bleak Hell,
There's hope that rings out like a bell,
And there's a Love so strong, no evil can quell.

She expresses her life through inspiring song,
Found her niche, a place she belongs,
Her hugs are fierce, loving and strong,
And I'm so thankful the skeptics were wrong.

Unconquerable.

Although I was there for her through the storms, the crime,
Now I find myself gaining strength from her rhyme,
In my time of weakness I hear her voice chime,
And I will look up, for now and all time.

The purpose in hardship, I now clearly see,
A family stifled, we are now set free,
We can help others achieve all they can be,
Help them survive their own stormy sea.

And so I go forward with a smile bright,
Even though I feel so close to the night,
I'm stronger now, she's taught me to fight,
I will make it through, there is no "might."

My daughter, so amazing, so beautiful,
So determined, unstoppable,,,
Has taught me to be...

Forever Unconquerable.

The Good and Bad of Florida, Part 2: Crazy People

The Memes about Florida are rampant on the Internet. Yes, there are plenty of "Ha ha! It's 80 degrees and we're at the beach while you're shoveling snow!" meme's, but the meme's about Florida's population of insane, bizarre, and bat poop crazy people are growing at an alarming rate.

Notice how the following meme says Florida is where crazy people MOVE? So, the crazy part doesn't apply to me, because I was BORN here. :) Oh, it doesn't apply to Paul, either, because he's cool, not crazy.

Remember the guy who threw an alligator at a server at a drive through? Well, people do other strange things with alligators here. Like the guy who took an alligator to a store and tried to use it as currency to buy beer.

This is actual footage of the guy. Thankfully, the clerk said, "No Sir, you can't buy beer with an alligator."

But, alligators have a sense of humor, too, and apparently don't like to be used in criminal activity. One time, a robbery suspect was hiding from police, and a nearby alligator saved some taxpayer dollars and saved the po po's from making fools of themselves by eating the suspect.

And, only in Florida is molesting alligators a crime:

In my research for this post, I discovered food is something Floridians value more than freedom. Almost every criminal act seemed to involve food in some way or another.

Like this guy, who attacked three women with a sword and a peanut butter sandwich. Were the women starving and trying to take his peanut butter sandwich?

Or this guy who attacked his girlfriend with a banana...ohhhh, he looks pretty freaking scary. I guess he does look like someone who could make a banana a lethal weapon.

This guy didn't really commit a violent crime. Like many criminals in Florida, he's just stupid. He tried to use his taco as ID after he sets his car on fire. How do you "accidentally" set your car on fire, anyway?

And people seem to get very violent if you get their order wrong, or don't have the food they want. I would imagine that being a waiter or waitress of delivery driver in Florida is a very dangerous job!

We have a lot of people pretending to be cops here. But usually it's because they're trying to score with a woman. This guy just wanted a free meal at IHOP...and to pull down his pants.

No corn dog is ever so important to get stabbed over. Come on, really?

And this brilliant example that Darwin was wrong decided to call 9-1-1 because McDonald's ran out of nuggets. She could've just walked down about a half mile down the road to the next one.

Even utensils can get you killed here.

And this news article is seemingly pointless, and somewhat impossible, seeing as this is FLORIDA. Oh, and Dollar Stores in Florida deserve a whole post of their own:

If people aren't murdering other people over food, crimes usually involve naked people and/or sex. Some crimes bizarrely involve both:

The naked and the sex starved are also sadly rampant here. I think people think because it's so warm and wacky here, you can just roam around naked willy nilly all over the place.

Here we have the relatively innocent crime of stealing manhole covers between a naked crime and a sex crime:

Florida's criminals are like no other criminals in the world. Like my buddy Cherries Waffles Tennis that robbed the Waffle House. Here we have Crystal Metheny. What the heck are these parents thinking? At least Crystal wasn't arrested for meth, But she may have been on it when she decided to shoot up someone's car.

Our news journalists have developed a sense of humor as the news gets stranger and stranger:

Here's a compilation of some Miami mugshots. Sometimes at work, my boss and I look up arrests that happened over the weekend in Volusia County, and we've seen some that even beat these. The sad faced guy with blue hair at the bottom is especially funny to me. And if you look hard, you will see Beaker from the Muppets.

We also have the dumbest criminals in the world. Like this guy who thought he could cash this check. I wonder why he chose $368 billion? Why not $367 billion or $369 billion? Did he think 368 would be a little less conspicuous?

And then we have this fake dentist who apparently thought kissing a patient's butt was worth losing his fake license and going to jail over.

Then, we have things that aren't really criminal, but just plain dumb, or weird, or bizarre. Like this mysterious giant Lego guy that washed up on the beach:

Click this link to see what the Brevard County Sheriff's Office just came out with! Hilarious! By the way, Merritt Island, where I grew up, is in Brevard County.

According to one news source, the strange events that happen here in Florida on a daily basis are signs that the apocalypse will start here. Notice the first picture of the bawling lady. It says "another," meaning this must happen on a regular basis!

Or maybe even the ZOMBIE apocalypse.

But, never fear, Paul. If you don't steal anyone's food, or protect yours with violence, or molest alligators or use them to commit a crime, or run around naked, or try to cash billion dollar checks, you'll be fine in our beautiful state.

And I'll be around to protect you, since I am a Viking Ninja Superhero. :)

The Good and Bad of Florida--Part 1: Kayaking

So, in honor of one of my friend's moving to Florida this week, I thought I'd highlight some of the good and bad things about my wonderful, wacky state. Today I'll start with a good thing--kayaking.

Florida has a lot of waterways for boating and jet skiing and kayaking. I love to kayak. I had a kayak, but Aidan's old hoodlum boyfriend stole it. When you kayak, it's a zen kind of experience, because you're so close to nature. I used to kayak the Indian River, and it was a relaxing way to spend a day. I'd take a waterproof camera along and I'd get some awesome shots, even though I really suck at photography. I don't think there was ever a time I didn't see dolphins or manatees on a kayak ride. The Indian River is literally chock full of dolphins. There's also supposed to be a few alligators in there that have adapted to the brackish water, and some bull sharks, but I've never seen either.

Here's a pic of me in my kayak on a slightly overcast day in the Indian River:

And a dolphin right in front of me:

And a cool tree:

And a cute little baby turtle swimming near an island:

I thought he looked tired, so I helped him to the island for a little rest:

But, apparently he had a purpose, because he went right back into the water. Maybe he was late for something.

And here's a feisty little horseshoe crab. He put up such a fight getting him into the kayak to pose for a picture:

Ha ha! I'm kidding--he was really dead.

We have tons of pelicans...this one is a rare brown pelican:

I liked the roots of this tree:

This is a common sight on the Indian River:

This is an Anhinga, but we called them "snake birds" when we were kids:

I like the way this tree frames the river:

This dolphin went right under the kayak, nearly dumping me in the river on Honeymoon Lake on the Indian River:

Cool old stump--I shoulda dug in there for treasure, lol:

This is an island...looks fun to explore!

I may have to get a kayak again...it's a great way to spend a day...exploring, soaking up sunshine, the salty breeze...so nice!