Double Charmed

He was shot down twice. It was said that being shot down once was hard to survive, but being shot down twice and surviving was a miracle. 

We Map the World in More than One Way

Update: To Ricky— check your email.

This is very awesome and may offer a fresh way to look at treasure hunts!

On Being More Like Me, Less Like You

Update: Tomorrow, the truth starts coming. Stay tuned. 

All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.

Watch video for tone and full effect.

Here's some red letters for ya:

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

And every second I waste is more than I can take!

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you are just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be ----- Numb, Linkin Park

And yeah...I'm no victim. Not by a long shot.

Woo hoo!

All the background checks and drug screening results I had to have before I start work came back today and I can FINALLY start my new job this week!
I gave James the good news and he had this already written and ready:

So cool! Anyway, we’re heading to Chili’s to meet Joe and his Mock Trial team that had a huge competition today!

And just found out Joe’s team won 3rd place out of 17 schools, and there aren’t any seniors on heir team!! So the school is buying us dinner!!

Lines and lines...

Update: Dear Anonymous, I would LOVE for that to be true, but it is not.

I found this in a box today...I used to love to draw these little line things.

New Self Portrait

Update: 

I also started this painting today while watching Planet Earth on BBC America in anticipation of Blue Planet II premiering tonight at 9:00 pm. 

I’m using oil paints on canvas, and I’ve discovered that I can’t look at something and paint it. I can look at something and draw it, but painting is a whole different thing, according to my brain. So I paint from memory. I remembered seeing a horse drawn in charcoal online and think I even posted it on an old blog post, so I tried to think about that horse and then just painted it how I remembered it. 

I also don’t draw an outline on the canvas beforehand, but instead just start painting from the picture I see in my mind. 

My original plan was to make the horse very abstract, but that isn’t how it’s turned out so far. I think I’m going to change it, though, and add a lot more white, as if the horse is half hidden in a snowstorm. I’m not sure I can accomplish that, but I think I’ll try. This painting took me about 30 minutes I guess to get this far. I started with a background of white mixed with a little gray, and then a little blue. 

Right now I don’t see how any of my art can escape at least some blue. I just LOVE blue...

I re-painted my self-portrait today, and I like this one better.  It’s more ...fierce...lol

Anyway, you all might laugh at my artistic attempts, but I don’t care. I’m really enjoying it, even though I get paint all over myself and everything around me. All artists have to start somewhere, and I don’t want to be taught, but to teach myself. 

I’m a very introspective person; contrary to popular belief, I don’t talk much at all. I can write pretty good, when I want to, but my deepest thoughts are agoraphobic. They don’t seem to want to come outside of my head, unless it’s on their terms. 

Often, it’s because I can’t find the words to express some of the things that affect me deeply. 

Other times, inspiration decides to pay a visit and invites the deeper thoughts outside to play, and that’s when I express myself the best. 

I’m happiest like that. There’s a certain contentment that comes with being alone with just those thoughts that make me catch my breath even in the relative silence of a moonlit night. 

Wondering about stuff is one of the most amazing things. Like how a giant school of fish can move so swiftly in unison, almost like they’re one organism. Or how a pride of lionesses work together to bring down an adult giraffe. Or how it can be that only one species of butterfly is the only living thing that can produce its own blue pigment (and even that butterfly is coming under nano-scrutiny, and may not actually produce its own blue pigment). Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to blue—it’s so rare in nature, yet so very much the color of life. 

 

A Revelation from Georgia

Update: Another woman has had the courage to come forward to me with her experience with Forrest Fenn. If ANY other women are out there who might be scared to stand against threats, DON’T BE SCARED! There is no better time than now than to STAND UP! Contact me and help us prove that money CANNOT buy you everything!!

Now, back to the original post: I watched a documentary about Georgia O'Keefe this morning (starting new job hopefully next week---the practice's HR was out last week), and it was, in many ways, like looking into a mirror. A couple of the things she said struck me so intensely, I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote them down in a scrawl.

"I thought someone could tell me how to paint landscapes, but I never found that person. I had to settle down and try... They could tell me how to paint their landscapes, but they couldn't tell me how to paint mine."

I stared down at the paper at her words that had come alive with such a lightning bolt of epiphany that I felt like I was waking up into what my dreams have been telling me all my life -- express myself the way I am, not the way I want others to see... express my art, whether through poetry or painting or music, with my honest emotions, not a facade of what I think others will "like." All that matters is that I like it, and that I enjoyed doing it. I've always tried to be true to myself this way, but realized that when I painted, I was struggling to try and paint "like everyone else." It wasn't working, because I was trying to be good at something by imitating others, and I sucked.

So I pulled out a few canvases,and just painted emotion. I didn't care if it was good, or symmetrical, or anything...I just thought, and painted my feelings, and the shapes and colors I'm most content with...today. My paintings might still suck, but they make me happy, and that is what's important.

The first one I did, I call "Blue Girl."

Then, I did another that calls itself, "Blue Moon Content:"

And then, I took a few minutes to indulge in Whimsy, a little sprite who sometimes whispers in my ear, and created a quick "self-portrait,"

Anyway, it was a really good day... :)