Is a hero always a hero?

Are there true heroes? Or are there just men and women who sometimes do something heroic? Is a "hero" someone that does the right, heroic thing all the time? Or is one heroic deed enough to be deemed a hero for life?

What is a hero, anyway?

Is a hero/heroine someone who served in the military? Someone who earned medals and honor in the service of our country? Someone who fought in a war?

My answer would be "not necessarily." My ex-husband was a highly decorated Major in the Air Force and served in Afghanistan. What made me sick was that people were always describing him as a hero, and thanking him for his service. I, however, knew the truth. I knew what the other people didn't see. I knew that every day he was in Afghanistan, he contemplated taking his own life. I know every day, he connived to get home sooner. I knew every day he wrote me terrible emails "blaming" me for not having to endure what he was enduring.

And no, he wasn't on the front lines, living in a dirty tent. He was working in a finance office and slept in an apartment he shared with just one other roommate. It wasn't long after that I learned what he did to my daughter.

So, is he a hero simply for his "service" to the country? Is anyone and everyone who serves in the military automatically a hero? Some people think so. I don't.

I was in the military, and sometimes people thank me for my service. I just want to laugh. I worked in a cushy office, went to luncheons nearly every day, played basketball and went to the gym on the days we didn't have luncheons. I administered construction contracts. I never went overseas, never fought in a war, never did anything but enjoy my pay and benefits and free base housing. Like that scene in The Office where Jim and Karen and Andy play Call of Duty at their cubicles, me and my coworkers used to play Doom. Or Dominoes. Or poker. All during the duty day. And all approved of by our commander as long as we kept up with our work. Looking back, I'm pretty dumb for leaving the Air Force. :)

Here's my CENTCOM ID card:

Weekends were spent jet skiing or going on cruises with other officers:

So, no, don't thank me for my "service." Lol.

I know there are a lot of true heroes that have served in the military, and the fire department and the police department. They've done incredible things at the risk of their own lives. I salute them. I admire them. I'm truly thankful for them.

But, at the same time, I believe a person can be a hero in one way, yet pretty rotten in other ways. And I'm not sure we can continue to rest on our laurels. I think a true hero doesn't strive to "be" a hero. They're naturally heroic -- it's in the core of their being.

And I believe a true hero doesn't have to perform heroic deeds. You can be a hero just by listening to someone who's hurting. You can be a hero by offering wisdom and counsel to a young person struggling to find their place in the world. You can be a hero by adopting a pet from a shelter. You can be a hero by volunteering to chaperone a field trip with your child. You can be a hero by getting a can off the top shelf at the grocery store for someone who can't reach (I can say I'm a hero many times over for doing that...lol),

You can be a hero in your everyday job. No matter what you do, you can be a hero just by making someone's day a little nicer.

There's lots of ways ordinary people can be a hero, and there are heroes all around us.

I'll add a true hero isn't someone who is heroic in order to achieve a self-serving agenda. They don't do what they do to be recognized or to get anything in return. They do things for others because it's who they are, not what publicity they can get.

Think about that awhile.