What Matters...

Today has been a long day.

I brought my mom home, and it seems like she was hanging on JUST to come home. Once we got her settled in her favorite chair with Monet and Judge Judy on TV and cookies in the oven (she didn't end up eating any), the CNA I hired arrived and we sat with her for a while, and she seemed okay.

James and I ran to the store to pick up a pulse oximeter and a new first aid kit in case the dog or cat scratched her, and a few other things. We got back home and her oxygen saturation kept slowly dropping, and her legs started to get really cold, although she said she was very hot. Then she started to fade and whispered quietly that she wasn't ready to die. I said, "Then stay as long as you, and when you feel ready, Jesus will gather you in his arms and take you to heaven, where there will be no more coughing, no more pain, no more crying and you will have a joy and a happiness that surpasses anything that you could feel on earth."

I assured her that although we would miss her, we would be okay, and we would never forget her.

Then, I prayed with her because she wanted to be absolutely sure she was going to heaven. During the prayer, Monet jumped on the bed, and laid her head in her lap.

I called hospice and they came out and got a hospital bed ordered. It arrived about an hour later. He said it appears that she is failing, but that she probably won't die tonight, although he couldn't be sure. He said at most, she might have a few more days.

She's dozing comfortably for the moment in her new bed in the family room with her favorite show (The Big Bang Theory) on her giant TV.

My mom kept saying this was her last night on earth and she wanted to stay awake to look at everything so she would remember it when she got to heaven. I told her she could look down from
heaven at any time to see how we're doing. I said if it looks like we're goofing up, just give us a quick
swat on the butt and we'll shape up. Lol.

Then her voice started to fade and she dozed in and out. I turned on a golden oldies music channel on the TV and she seemed to like that.

I took a short break while she's asleep to soak my back in the bath. Lifting her by myself is murder on my back, but I don't want anyone else to do it.

James has been an awesome help, getting the family room ready for the hospital bed and moral support. I don't like to cry in front of anyone, but I did in front of him today, and he wasn't afraid to just wrap me in his arms.

Anyway, time to get out of the bed and resume my vigil. If this is her last night on Earth, I'm going to be there with her and for her every step of the way.

Earlier, we talked about her mom and dad, and my dad, and other family members, relating fun times we've had in the past. That seems to help.

Anyway, as always, prayers anyone might send my way are much appreciated. Thank you to the kind souls who really seem to care. Your kindness does not go unnoticed.