Forgotten History

I won't talk about the fiasco at ChaseChat last night. I'll just sum it all up with a quote from Mahatma Ghandi:

That about sums it up, don't ya think?

Anyway, I woke up a little early for a Saturday and on the American Heroes Channel is one of my favorite new shows: America's Most Badass. One of the Presidential experts is Daniel O'Brien, from one of my favorite websites and YouTube channels, Cracked.com. Another is an author of a book called Forgotten History.

The episode I'm watching now pits Andrew Jackson, Howard Hughes, Evel Knievel, General Patton against each other for the title of Most Badass. Right now Evel Knievel is in the lead because he tried to rocket cycle over the Snake River Canyon in Idaho. I'm not sure that qualifies as bad ass or crazy, but I'll go along with bad ass. Howard Hughes is coming in dead last--I guess even a show about bad asses has  to have a scapegoat.

I like this show because it makes history fun, and gives us a side of history not generally talked about in the classroom. And I can't help it, I love Daniel O'Brien. He's smart and hilarious--a winning combination! He also hates cats and his dog is named Jackson President O'Brien. He also wrote a book called How to Fight Presidents, and was investigated by the Secret Service for it! How can you not love this guy?

I thought I'd dedicate this post to some badass women in history, and I'm not going to limit it to America. This could end up being a really long list, so we'll just say this episode one. In this episode, we'll feature some ancient female badasses: Boudica, Joan of Arc, and Lady Jane Gray.

Today, we'll take a look at Boudica (or Boudicca).

Boudica was married to a Celtic Iceni King, Prasutagus. Not much is known about him, except that he was an ally of Rome, yet independent of Rome and was allowed to retain his status of king over his traditional lands. 

When Prasutagus died, the greedy Romans decided they wanted all of what Prasutagus had, and they took it in the nastiest way possible. They publicly flogged Boudica, and raped her two young daughters. 

That's not somethin' you should do to a Celtic queen, or any mother who's badass enough to fight for her family. Boudica decided she wasn't going to mewl like a weak little mouse and willingly surrender everything that was rightfully hers, and she was going to personally make sure the Romans would pay for what they did to her daughters. Man, I love Boudica. She also loved her lands and people so much that she did everything in her power to keep from losing them and becoming slaves (or worse) to the brutal Romans.

I would have loved to hear her address her tribe as she rallied an army to resist the Roman forces, who greatly outmatched Boudica's army in training, arms, and numbers. I'm sure it was inspirational and charismatic. They had to know they wouldn't win in the end, but they sure weren't going down without a fight for what they believed in--freedom.

The historian Tacitus wrote the following paragraph about Boudica, and you can almost hear the admiration in his voice. And Tacitus was a Roman, and generally the Romans skewed their details of history to make themselves look better.

"Prasutagus, king of the Iceni, after a life of long and renownded prosperity, had made the emperor co-heir with his own two daughters. Prasutagus hoped by this submissiveness to preserve his kingdom and household from attack. But it turned out otherwise. [After his death] kingdom and household alike were plundered like prizes of war, the one by Roman officers, the other by Roman slaves. As a beginning, his widow Boudicca was flogged and their daughters raped. The Icenian chiefs were deprived of their hereditary estates as if the Romans had been given the whole country. The king's own relatives were treated like slaves. And the humiliated Iceni feared still worse, now that they had been reduced to provincial status. So they rebelled." (Eyewitness to Ancient Rome, 197).

Here are a couple of the only known quotes of Boudica:

"If you weigh well the strengths of our armies you will see that in this battle we must conquer or die. This is a woman's resolve. As for the men, they may live or be slaves."

"I am not fighting for my kingdom and wealth now. I am fighting as an ordinary person for my lost freedom, my bruised body, and my outraged daughters."

And Boudica showed what an ordinary woman fighting for her freedom and family can do. She mounted an army and like a Valkyrie, bravely charged into battle. 

She first struck the Roman city of Camulodunum, and the people there appealed to Governor Suetonius for help. He was like, "Aw, she's just a woman and her army is a bunch of woad-tattooed barbarian Iceni. Let's see, a force of about 200 soldiers should take care of this gnat. And arm my forces lightly--they won't need much to put this lowly woman in her place."

Yeah, you can guess what happened. BOOM! Boudica destroyed them all, and leveled the city.

I wish I could have seen the look on Suetonius's face! 

Then, with that victory, Boudica rode on to London. Suetonius was there, but when he saw that Boudica had more soldiers than he had anticipated, fled the city, leaving it to be demolished by Boudica, who did just that.

She then moved on to another city and destroyed it, too. She seemed unstoppable, although she had to know in her mind she would eventually find her army far outnumbered, and that it was only a matter of time before she fell. What makes Boudica badass is that she didn't care. She was fighting for her family and her freedom, and even if she fell, she'd made her statement. She did her best, and that was all she could do. She was badass because she faced her certain fate bravely. She had decided she would rather die fighting for what she believed in rather than let an enemy make them into slaves.

While Boudica was laying waste to Verulamium, Suetonius decided she was an enemy to be taken seriously. He brought in a small force of his best soldiers, and his best advisors, and they formed a plan of defense and attack at Boudica's next target. They assembled in an area where the woods were behind them, and open country in the front. That put them with the advantage because they couldn't be attacked from behind.

Boudica eventually arrived, and the two armies faced each other. Tacitus says both leaders gave their armies inspirational speeches.

Unfortunately, Suetonius's advantageous position proved fatal for Boudica's army, and the Romans began to slaughter the Britons. The remaining Britons saw the battle was hopeless, and fled. Boudica and her daughters also escaped, but they knew their time was short as Roman soldiers were hot on her heels.

Instead of being killed or taken as slaves by the enemy, Boudica and her daughters performed one last badass feat; they drank poison and took their own lives.

So, Boudica is near the top of my list of badass women in history. In my book, a badass woman is one who stands for what she believes in, no matter what the danger or risk, or ultimate cost. She battles for those things that are important to her, and doesn't let anyone take those things from her without a fight. For Boudica, those things were freedom and family, a just and honorable cause.

Next time, Joan of Arc...

To wrap up, I'll also end with a quote from Mahatma Ghandi: