Noise

Sometimes the world is too loud for me.

I'v e never really thought about it before, but there are different kinds of "loud" that affect me in different ways.

Too loud are the cats at 4:30 or 5:00 am in the morning, desperately meowing for their kibbles and stinky clumps of soggy brown clumps. Their meowing just makes me want it to stop, so I hurry to get them fed. I guess they have me trained pretty well.

Here they are, happy again.

Too loud is when coworkers complain about "don't sweat the small stuff" stuff. I think I've mentioned before that my office seems to be neutral territory, where both factions of staff feel safe to vent. And although I like being neutral, sometimes the complaining gets to be too trivial, and just too loud. I wish I could just shut my door on those days.

Fire alarms are always too loud. Although I guess it's good that they are.

But there are also seemingly quiet things that are too loud, like the rehab my mom was in before the one she's at now. Loud doesn't always have to be an audible noise, and I realize that now more than ever. When things are too loud, I have an overwhelming urge to get away. Crowded places do that to me. At my mom's old rehab, I think that somehow the stress in that place from residents not being treated very nicely can manifest itself as an inaudible sound for a sensitive person. I really believe that. I think that's why I had the overwhelming urge to get out of there. I had thought that it was because it was cramped, and maybe that was part of it. I also thought it could be a subconscious awareness of death and hopelessness, and that could be part of it, too.

But I remember as a teenager and college kid, I belonged to a church who would go and visit the nursing home in Merritt Island, and we'd sing to, play games with, and just talk to the people who lived there. I didn't feel it was too loud there, and I don't feel like its too loud where my mom is now. So, I think Port Orange was too loud because of some not very nice things going on behind the scenes.

There have been studies that seem to prove that strong emotion in one person can be physically felt by others. Maybe to me, the resident's strong emotion was felt as a loud yet inaudible "noise."

But sometimes loud can be comforting. I remember when I used to go surfing "Dawn Patrol" and be one of the only ones out in the water, sitting on my board as the sun rose higher in the sky. The sound of the ocean is one of the most calming, most soothing loud noises in the world to me, and it's part of what made being in the water so special. I remember the distinct, unique sound of the water lapping against the sides of the surfboard, and sometimes while waiting for the next set, I'd lift the nose a little and slap the board down just to make that noise a little louder.

Here's the path to one of my favorite secret surfing spots:

Rain and thunder, to me, are also an enjoyable loud noise. Until the power goes out, anyway. Lol. I love really rainy, stormy days, because then I have an excuse to stay inside.

Here's Callie and Aidan outside on our balcony in Merritt Island during Tropical Storm Fay in 2008.

Birds singing can sometimes be too loud in a bad way, if they start before the sun rises and I'm trying to sleep. I remember when we lived in Albuquerque, springtime meant the birds would start way too early. Lol. However, if I'm awake, and the birds outside are singing, I enjoy it.

In my neighborhood we have several families of Sandhill Cranes, and they have a very distinctive call that I can sometimes hear at odd times outside my bedroom window. Here's one little happy family:

The sound of leaves crunching under my feet as I walk on a forest trail are loud in the silence, and soothing. I like that sound very much. Raking leaves in the Fall (when I lived in states that actually had a Fall), was also a soothing sound.

Fire crackling is a nice loud sound. Unless it's my house burning down, I suppose. Lol.

Loud can be more than the physical sense of hearing. It can be colors, or even noise in photographic images or drawings. A busy photograph is not often very appealing to the eyes, and sometimes can be too loud.

Here's a picture I took at Megacon in Orlando. Holy cow, that event was WAY too loud.

Which brings me to my solve, and why it's taking a long time. Yoda mentioned that my solve must not be as 100% as I claim because it's taking so long. To that, I say he or she is partly correct. I know I'm solving it the hard way, and I know there's an easier way, but I just don't have it yet. However, I can still solve it, and am making progress that CAN be measured. There are eight corners. I've found the trail through four of the corners now. Two days ago, I had just one corner done. Today, I have four. That's measurable progress. It's like following the instructions when your putting together that IKEA dresser. You're making progress as you finish each step. It's measurable, contrary to what someone says on ChaseChat.

And honestly, I can't say how long it will take me to make it to the end. Life happens. As much as I'd like to get to the end and head West to pick up the treasure, there are things that are way more important than a bronze chest, even if its contents were worth ten million dollars. I've got things going on in my life that take priority over riches and glory. So, Not-Very-Wise Yoda, that is why I'm not dropping everything and rushing out to grab it. You might think wealth is everything, but I don't. My family will always come first.

And Forrest, if you're reading this, you know what I mean by "noise." I'm slowly adapting my focus to see through the noise, but it is difficult the way I'm doing it. But if the same results can be reached by doing it the hard way, I'll keep plugging along until it's done. I really enjoyed your lion, by the way--very cute. I like discovering your art. It's fun. :)