It's really true, I s'pose...

Growing up, I've always heard older people say, "Once you hit 45, everything goes downhill fast."

And whaddya know, it's true. Lol. I am falling apart and will likely need robotic parts before too long. Yesterday, my boss commented how I must have strong teeth because I snack on low calorie Smartfood Delight popcorn throughout the day. She broke her tooth a week or so ago--I can't remember if she said it was the popcorn, but it might have been. But the thing is, if you watch me eat popcorn, which I don't recommend, you'll notice that I inspect each piece before I eat it. If it's not fully popped, or has too much of the kernel left, or just isn't fluffy enough, I don't eat it. So, I'm not exactly biting down on the hard kernels.

But last night, I decided to try a handful of the Christmas popcorn everyone said I should have at our holiday party. I inspected each piece as I always do, and tossed out the few that looked too kernelly (yes, I know that's not a word).

Separating popcorn looks like this. Left side = mouth. Right side = trash

On the third piece, I bit down and felt this crazy, immediate pain in my very back tooth, and sure enough, it was cracked and part of it jiggled when I wiggled it. And it hurt to touch it too.

So, I'm looking at an emergency dentist visit today, which will likely sap up the remainder of my holiday savings, and cause me to leave my coworkers short handed on the busiest day of the week (thank goodness we only have two providers today, but a jammed packed schedule). I think I'll go to work, call the dentist to see if getting in is even a possibility, then run there, get it fixed and rush back to work.

Despite my throbbing tooth, things are pretty good in my life right now. But I miss my mom. This will be the first Christmas ever without her. In all my life, there may have been only one or two times I wasn't able to be home for Christmas, and if you follow this blog, you know my mom lived for Christmas. It was her favorite holiday.

My coworkers are sympathetic, and they ask me how I'm doing, because a few of them have lost their moms, too, and know that first Christmas can be tough. I tell them I'm okay, and struggle not to cry when they give me a hug.

The other day, I decided to put on a radio station in my office that plays Christmas carols non-stop throughout the day. So, when my mom's favorite Christmas carol, Feliz Navidad, came on, I immediately and unexpectedly teared up a little. I mentioned to Karen that this was my mom's favorite Christmas song, and I had always wondered why. It's not particularly Christmas-y. Last year, I asked her what it was about that song she liked so much that she would just put it on repeat all day long.

Her reply was, "It just makes me happy."

And that was a good enough reason for me. :)

I have a few favorite Christmas songs. I like Silent Night, because when Aidan was little, she'd ask me to sing it every single night when I tucked her into bed. I think it was calming for her, and helped her fall asleep.

I also like Carol of the Bells. The Pentatonix one is pretty cool...

Trans-Siberian Orchestra's version is great, too...

But their Christmas Canon may be my favorite Christmas song this year:

I like "Little Drummer Boy," especially the version by Pentatonix. And the one by Jars of Clay, too. I loved this song ever since I was very little. I remember thinking how nice it was to realize that kindness and respect are two of the best gifts you can ever give.